Category Archives: Beyonce Knowles

Beyonce’s Bustin’ Out at the MTV Awards

This dress almost defies description.  It’s space age meets corrugated iron.  The issue I have with it – I understand it’s a costume for a performance, not something she’s likely to wear walking down the street – but it’s the fact that her black bike shorts appear to be busting out of the sides of the ‘dress’.

Oh my, oh my, oh my…

Advertisements

Beyonce Shows How Not to Wear Horizontals

 

This is image consulting 101 – never put a horizontal line across a wide point, unless you want it to look wider.  Now if Beyonce’s booty is her widest point, why would she put a glittery, spangly, sequined wide horiztonal band across it to draw attention to it?

How can she get something so basic so wrong?

How to Make your Thighs Look Slimmer – By Not Wearing Beyonce’s Dress

Beyonce is wearing a trapeze dress which does nothing for her figure – she has a gorgeous small waist and curvy body, yet the dress is disguising her waist and ending right at the widest part of her thighs, which is making them look bigger, and her whole body look much boxier.  This style of dress is really only suited to those with an I shape (boyish) body, which can take the shape and length, best avoided by most curvier women.

Beyonce’s Bustin’ Out

Beyonce Knowles is filiming a video clip, wearing a police uniform, but where are my eyes immediately drawn to?  Her bust!  The buttons look like they’re about to pop.

If you find this is an issue with buttoned shirts, I’d suggest you either go up a size so the buttons don’t gape and have the shirt taken in below the bust by a good tailor, or look for a shirt where the button sits at the widest point of the bust so that it can’t be pulled apart like this.

Be careful of patterend tights

These butterfly tights make me want to fly away so I don’t have to look at them any longer and they’re doing no favours to Solange Knowles’ tights (she’s Beyonce’s sister).  They’re certainly not making her thighs look slimmer or flatter them in any way.

Beyonce Loves Her Red Ray Bans

I love how, in the olden days, sunglasses were used by celebrities to ‘hide’ behind, so that they could get around incognito.  These days they’re used to attract attention to the celebrity – cos why else would you sport a pair of bright red Ray Bans like Beyonce? 

Are they spies on a secret mission?

Options on what  Yoko Ono and Beyonce are saying to each other at the Grammy Awards

Option 1

Yoko: the microfilm is inside my hatYoko Ono & Beyonce, whatever you do don’t make eye contact.

Beyonce:  I’ll just accidentally turn round and knock your hat off with my booty then secreet the film in the folds of this dress – no one will notice.

Option 2:

Beyonce: Move away from me old lady – you’re blocking my lime light – this is my time.

Yoko: I’ve still got a few tricks young lady – what can you do with a pingpong ball eh?